Uninvited
by LadyChris
Summary: C, V, B, JD : Buck tries to stop Chris and Vin from destroying their friendship. Josiah helps JD deal with his past.


Title: Uninvited

Author: LadyChris

E-mail: LadyChrisFic@hotmail.com

Disclaimer: The main characters in this story do not belong to me. I am not profiting off this story. Don't bother suing, I have no money.

Ratings: PG 13 for language and violence

Warnings: This story takes place after the episode "Wagon Train", but before the episode "Achilles". There aren't really too many spoilers for the other episodes, but there are references and insinuations. This story is also a sequel to my first fanfic "Time in a Bottle" and may be difficult to understand if you haven't read that one. 

AuthorÕs notes: The plot to this story was my original ending to "Time in a Bottle." Therefore this story also revolves around the characters of Chris, Vin, and Buck. However, since there is no "guest star" in this one, J.D. has a much larger role with Nathan and Josiah playing smaller, but significant parts. Ezra also makes an appearance or two, but I'm saving him for my next story (I promise!).

I have to extend a big THANK YOU to my beta readers, Katie, Adrian, and Judy, for their kind words and advice.

Constructive criticism is welcome, but flames will be ignored.

Archive: Yes, please

Uninvited

LadyChris

Part 1

"Dada. . ."

Chris Larabee dropped the book he was reading, shot out of his chair, and crossed the tiny room of his cabin in two strides.

"What did you say, little man?" Chris whispered to the baby in the cradle.

"Dada. . ."

"Oh, baby." Gently Chris lifted the infant child into his arms. "Did you just call me daddy?" Chris had scoffed at his wife, Sarah, when she first started conversing with their son in babytalk. He swore he would never stoop to making baby sounds, but after spending one afternoon alone with his son he found himself sorely tempted. Gently he continued to cradle the little boy in his arms. "You *did* call me daddy, didn't you? Didn't you, little man?" Chris laughed lightly as he nuzzled his son while little Adam 

gurgled gleefully. . . .

Chris silently woke up. He gazed dry-eyed into the campfire for a minute before slowly turning onto his back so he could stare at the stars above him. 

***************************

*A few hours later*

"Vin, what the hell are you doin' out here?" Chris Larabee hissed over his shoulder as he scrunched down behind a fallen tree.

"Just doin' what I do best, watchin' your back. Where's the others?" Vin asked quietly as he crawled through the grass and hunkered down beside Chris. 

"Circling around and taking up positions on the north and south sides. Now, you head back to town. Nathan told you to stay in bed. You just took a bullet in the back three weeks ago!" said Chris, his stomach tightening as he thought back to the day Vin knocked Chris out of the way during a firefight with some cattle rustlers and wound up shot in the back. 

"Oh, hell, Chris, I'm probably goin' die in this fight, now I gotta worry about losin' a little sleep?" Vin grinned, nodding his head towards a large caravan of covered wagons. "How'd you figure out it was this group?"

"We tracked three small wagon trains. Stopped each of them and asked a few questions about who they were, where they were headed. They all seemed legit until Buck pointed out that there weren't any women or children among all three."

"Buck would notice." Vin rolled his eyes.

"They've been turning over the cattle they steal to a second group that herds the cattle south of the border for sale. Then this groups hides out in the open as separate wagon trains, meetin' up only long enough to plot their next hit. So, when we figured out what they were doin' we split up and followed each of them until they all came together here. How'd you find us?"

"When the stage came in yesterday, the driver mentioned he had seen three of you out in this area. I just followed the tracks from there." Vin paused and glanced over his shoulder at the horizon behind him. "It's almost dawn. When does this party start?"

"After sunrise. Buck and I'll draw their fire in this direction," Chris said as he nodded off to his left where Buck could be seen stretched out across some large boulders. "They'll be facing into the sun and it'll be harder for them to target us. The others will sneak up from the sides and take 'em." Chris peered over the tree, but it was still too dark for him to see far. "Vin, I really think you should sit this one out."

"I'm fine, Chris," Vin growled. "I don't need you or the others hovern' over me. I've had enough of that to last me for the rest of my life. Between Nathan harpin' on me to get some rest and you movin' into the sick room to take care of me, I haven't had a moment outdoors since the shooting." Vin closed his eyes as if in pain. "I'm sorry, Chris, I appreciate you takin' care of me like you did, but I just can't stand bein' indoors day and night. It drives me crazy."

Chris nodded curtly. "I'm sorry too. Get ready, the sun's startn' to come up."

The two men remained still as the sun slowly climbed above the mountains behind them. A sudden movement from the camp caught Chris's attention. 

"Buck," he hissed just loud enough for Buck to hear. At first Buck looked shocked at seeing Vin lying next to Chris, but that only lasted a moment. Chris could see Buck nod his head and then take aim at the rustler as he left his wagon and headed to a more secluded spot nearby. As the man started to take care of some personal business, Buck's shot rang out and the rustler immediately clutched his leg, where the bullet winged him. Almost immediately all the other rustlers darted out from their sleeping places and began firing back. 

"You should've let me take that shot!" Vin shouted above the crackle of gunfire.

"We're not here to kill 'em, just to arrest 'em! And you don't know how to wing one!" Chris shouted right back. 

"Neither do you!" Vin grinned. "I see Josiah and Ezra comin' in from the south."

"Nathan and J.D. should be coming in from the north." Chris glanced over in that direction and sure enough, he spotted J.D.'s bowler slowly working its way towards the camp. 

******************************

See part 1 for disclaimer

Part 2

*Prior to the firefight*

Nathan lay flat on his stomach, silently cursing the long grass that persisted in tickling his nose and ears as he tried to patiently wait for the sun to rise. Chris had ordered Nathan and J.D. to flank the wagon train to the north. Josiah and Ezra would flank the wagons from the south. It was still dark out, but with the moonlight, Nathan managed to lead J.D. to this spot to wait until dawn. They had been lying there side by side for a long while when Nathan glanced over at the kid. J.D. had been strangely quiet since they split from the group over an hour ago. Usually J.D. managed to keep up a steady stream of chatter unless something bothered him or Buck was there to interrupt him. Since Buck wasn't there, something must be rattling around in the kid's head.

"You're awfully quiet J.D. What's on your mind?" Nathan whispered quietly.

J.D. didn't say anything for a minute, but finally replied. "I've been thinkin' about Chris. Does he ever talk about me?"

Nathan snuck another glance at J.D. in surprise. He expected a tirade about some annoying thing Buck did or Casey's aggressive behavior, but not Chris. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, does he ever say anything about me when I'm not around?" J.D. turned slightly on his side to look directly at Nathan, whom he could just about make out in the dim light of the half moon.

Nathan shrugged his shoulders slightly. "Chris hardly says a word about anythin'. Why would he talk about you?"

"I don't know. He's treatin' me different now than when I joined the group over a year ago. Back then, he practically ignored me after he said that I could stay. At first, I thought he was just holdin' a grudge 'cuz I said somethin' mean to him after I had too much to drink at the Seminole Village. But he didn't object to Judge Travis hirin' me along with the rest of you, so I thought maybe he had gotten over it. Ever since the judge rehired us, Chris has been treatin' me like I'm really a part of the group, not just some kid who hangs around Buck all the time. "

"But why do you think he'd be talkin' about you?" Nathan still didn't have a clear picture as to where this conversation was going. 

"I guess I just want to know if he respects me. There are some questions I wanna ask him, some really personal questions, but I don't know if he'll listen to me or just walk away. Part of the reason I came west was because I respected men like Chris, and I want him to respect me back." J.D. looked at Nathan with a hopeful expression on his face. Nathan realized that the sun was starting to rise and they would have to get moving.

"If he didn't respect you J.D. you wouldn't be here. Chris don't work with someone out of pity. You've proven yourself, J.D. If you have somethin' you want to ask him, just take him aside and ask it. Chris is a hard man, but he don't bite unless you give him a damn good reason to. And you never know when your chance to ask your questions might be taken away forever." Nathan pulled himself up to squatting position as he started to crawl forward. "Now follow me and keep your head down."

**********************

Chris watched the rustlers as they advanced on him, Vin, and Buck. The rustlers started off with twenty-five men, but that number was slowly dwindling. Chris took another shot and another rustler went down. Despite the fact that the rustlers were supposed to be brought back for a trial, Chris knew they would be lucky to take any back alive. The rustlers had to have known that if convicted, which was almost an absolute certainty, they would be hung for their crimes, so they fought with fierce abandon and would try to take out as many of the seven as they could.

Chris stopped again to reload as Vin and Buck covered him, but he almost immediately noticed that the rustlers stopped advancing. Buck touched Chris's shoulder and pointed towards the north and then towards the south. Chris nodded as he spotted the other four men tightening the circle that surrounded the rustlers.

At the first lull in gunfire Chris shouted out, "Drop your weapons! We're here to take you in for rustlin' cattle! Come quietly and no one else will get hurt!" He was answered with renewed gunfire.

"You didn't really think they'd come quietly, did you, pard?" Buck smiled at Chris because he already knew the answer.

"Had to give them a chance to surrender just in case Judge Travis asked." Chris glanced at Vin, who signaled that he needed to reload. Chris covered him and Buck. 

*********************************

Jason Sorrel stopped firing after his partner took a bullet in the gut. A gambler and con artist by trade, Jason knew when it was time to fold the cards. He spat out blood from his mouth and looked around, trying to figure where the rest of the rustlers hid. They had hired him to design a con that would outwit whoever the law threw at them after they hit a ranch. They paid well and he needed to get out of the Dakota Territory before the men he just conned caught up with him. The wagon train idea worked well for everyone involved while they were on the plains, but he knew the longer they used it the more likely it was that someone would figure it out. But instead of letting him change the con, the rustlers insisted on using the same con and moving their operation farther west.

Jason unbuckled his gunbelt, dropped it to the ground and pulled a white handkerchief out of his pocket. Hopefully it would be enough to get everyone's attention when he started waving it. He also hoped that the other rustlers would think that it was another con he was running to trap the lawmen who had them surrounded. He had no intentions of really surrendering, but the others would have to find their own way out. Hanging was such as ignominious way for a gentleman to die, but if he could shoot and kill at least one of the famous seven gunfighters that protected this territory, his name at least would live on throughout history. 

***********************************

"Hey, pard, it looks like at least one of them wants to surrender!" shouted Buck. 

"Hold your fire! Hold your fire!" shouted Chris. Slowly the sounds of gunfire died as all the men noticed the little white handkerchief waving in the wind. The man waving the handkerchief slowly stood up and looked around. Chris noticed the man had dropped his gunbelt, so he risked standing up himself as a sign of good faith. As the man approached him, Chris thought that there was something familiar about him. 

"It's that damn red jacket," whispered Buck. "He dresses just like Ezra." 

Chris nodded but never took his eyes off the man. Chris waited until the man was directly in front of him before speaking.

"We're takin' you in for rustlin' cattle. Have the rest of your men drop their weapons," said Chris, looking directly into the man's eyes.

Jason nodded and turned his back on Chris's probing gaze as he addressed the rustlers still hiding behind him.

"All right, men, drop your weapons and surrender." Jason waited but there was no response. "Trust me, gentlemen. I know the judge of this territory. His name's Travis and he'll give us a fair trial. A very *long*, very fair trial."

There was some muted laughter from the rustlers. A long trial would give them more time to escape. The rustlers figured Jason Sorrel had already figured a way out for them. One by one, the men dropped their weapons, surrendering to the seven. Josiah and Ezra removed extra rope from their supplies and began binding the arms of the rustlers. 

Buck turned to the man in the fancy red coat. "Okay, mister, now it's your turn. Get your hands behind your back." 

Chris suddenly realized his mistake. "Wait, Buck, check his . . ." He never finished the sentence. As Jason started to raise his hands to place them behind his back, a rig inside his sleeve ejected a small derringer exactly like Ezra's. Buck grabbed for Jason's hand and tried to shove his aim downward. He was only partially successful. The gun went off, ripping through Chris just under the rib cage instead of through the chest. Immediately five bullets from the rest of the seven tore into Jason and he died before he even hit the ground. 

"Hold on, Chris, Nathan's on his way." Buck tore his bandanna off from around his neck and pressed it onto Chris's wound. Chris groaned and clutched his side as blood soaked the bandanna and his hands. He heard voices, Josiah and Ezra ordering the rest of the rustlers onto the ground, face down. He heard J.D. threatening to shoot anyone who moved an inch. He heard Vin's voice, but it seemed farther away. He was going to die, finally. Chris closed his eyes.

"Don't you leave, Chris Larabee! It ain't your time!" yelled Vin frantically, grabbing Chris by the collar. Buck tried to push Vin off so he could remove Chris's shirt, but he couldn't break Vin's hold. Chris opened his eyes and gazed directly at Vin. Vin held the gaze and was surprised by the calmness he saw there. Slowly Chris brought his bloody hand up and gently placed it on the side of Vin's face.

"I'm so glad I found you again," said Chris weakly.

"What are you talkin' about, Chris? I've always been here." Vin glanced at Buck, wondering if Chris was referring to his involvement with Charlotte.

Chris's voice became quieter and weaker. "I've missed you so much. I needed you, but I had to let you go or I'd lose my mind. " 

Vin froze. What the hell was Chris talkn' about? 

"Buck?" Chris called quietly, but never broke eye contact with Vin. Buck leaned in closer to Chris. "Promise me you'll take care of him. Don't let anyone hurt him." The light in Chris's green eyes started to dim as he ran his thumb along Vin's cheekbone. "I want you to take care of my son. I need you to make sure no one ever hurts Adam again." Buck sharply sucked in his breath as Chris's hand fell away from Vin's face. The light went out in Chris's green eyes and he lost consciousness. 

***************************

See part 1 for disclaimer

Part 3

*Three Days Later*

"Where the hell is Vin?" shouted Buck as he tried to hold down Chris while Nathan changed his bandages. Chris's temperature spiked during the night and he kept screaming for Adam. For three days Nathan tried to keep Chris's wound from becoming infected, but he was slowly losing the battle. Chris's hysterics weren't helping the situation. Even though the other men took turns sitting with Chris, it soon became obvious that Vin was the only one who could keep Chris calm enough to rest. 

"I'm right here," said Vin, entering Nathan's small clinic carrying a bucket of ice. Nathan took his eyes off Chris just long enough to note the exhausted look on Vin's face. When Nathan had finally kicked Vin out of the clinic to get some sleep, Vin hadn't even tried to argue with him. Although Vin should have been sleeping, Nathan suspected that Vin had gone riding instead. 

Vin handed Buck the bucket of ice and knelt down next to the bed.

"Chris! C'mon, snap out of it!" Vin shouted so that Chris would hear him.

Chris's eyes shot open as he groped around for Vin's hand. "Adam! Where are you? I can't find you!"

"I'm right here, cowboy. Now just relax." Vin placed his hand on Chris's. Chris clutched at Vin's hand. 

"You. . .okay? Not. . .not burned?" Chris's whole body shook as he tried to turn over on his side to feel Vin's arm like he was checking for burned skin.

"I'm fine. Just relax. Nathan has some medicine for you to take, but you can't swallow it lying down. So why don't you sit up. . ." Vin helped Chris to a sitting position, but Chris never took his eyes off Vin or let go of his arm, not even when Nathan gave him a spoonful of laudanum. Vin, on the other hand, avoided Chris's gaze, concentrating more on straightening out the blankets and fluffing up his pillow as best he could. 

"I'm so sorry. . .Adam," murmured Chris as the laudanum started to take affect. "I tried. . .to save. . .your mama. I just. . .couldn't get. . .to her. . .in time. . ." Chris's eyes started to close.

Vin helped Chris lie back down while Buck started pouring the ice over Chris's body to try and bring his temperature down. Vin continued to talk to Chris is a quiet, soothing voice. "Just rest easy, Chris. I know you did your best to save us, but just rest now and everything will be. . ." Vin couldn't finish the sentence. He had never lied to Chris, he never felt he had to, but what he was feeling right now defied description.

When they first brought back Chris, he had tried to be Chris's friend. But Chris didn't want a friend, he wanted his son, and as far as Chris was concerned, Vin was his son. It wasn't right, letting Chris believe that his son was here to comfort him. Vin hated playing along with it. Vin fought against it, but now with the fever getting worse, he felt he had no choice. Besides Chris had just fallen fast asleep and wouldn't hear anything he said. Too tired to try and analyze the situation, to try and make sense of it all, Vin placed his head down on the bed while still holding Chris's arm and fell asleep.

Buck watched the two men sleeping. Nathan came up behind him and gently slapped him on shoulder. 

"I'm goin' into the next room to get some shuteye myself. You should too, Buck."

Buck shook his head. "Nah, I'll be in the saloon if you need me." Nathan watched Buck walk out and shook his head. There were a lot of undercurrents of emotion going on in this room - fear of losing Chris, relief that Vin could calm Chris down, anger at the coward who shot him - but there was something else, something emanating from Buck that Nathan couldn't quite put his finger on. Whatever it was, he would figure it out a lot faster once he got some sleep.

***************************

*Later that evening*

Josiah strolled into the church that served as his home as well as his sanctuary from the outside world. Older than rest of the seven men he worked with by at least ten years, Josiah sometimes thought that there was very little that he hadn't seen in this world. Still, nothing prepared him for the sight before him. Occasionally Nathan would give him a hand nailing some boards to the cathedral ceiling or replacing one of the stained glass windows, but none of the men entered the church to pray. Yet, there was J.D., kneeling in one of the pews quietly speaking to God. Josiah sat down in a pew a few rows in back of J.D. so he could have his privacy. When J.D. finally sat back in the pew, Josiah approached him.

"You okay, Brother Dunne?" asked Josiah quietly.

J.D. sniffed loudly and turned around. His eyes were bloodshot and unfocused, like he had been drinking a little too much. . . or crying. J.D. shoved his long black hair back over his ears before answering. "Yeah, I'm all right."

"'For the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart,'" Josiah recited. "I'm glad you're here, J.D."

"I haven't prayed since my mama died last year." J.D. sniffed again. "But seeing Chris like he is, calling out for his son. . .I don't know why, Josiah, but it really hurts to see him like that."

"He's just a man, J.D., with burdens like everyone else."

"I know, Josiah. I realized that at the Seminole Village when Buck told me about his family." J.D. sighed and leaned his head back against the pew. "I've done a lot of thinking since we brought Chris back. I kept wondering why this hurts so bad. It didn't hurt like this when you got shot by Anderson. It didn't hurt like this when Vin got shot last month. So why does it hurt so bad now?"

"Why did you come out west, J.D.?" asked Josiah, answering J.D.'s question with a question of his own.

J.D. frowned and wiped his eyes. "I just had this conversation with Nathan. I came west because I wanted to be a gunslinger, like Chris. . .well, Chris and Bat Masterson and. . .well, maybe a few others too."

"You sure about that, J.D.?" Josiah motioned for J.D. to slide over to give Josiah some room to sit. 

"What do ya mean? Why else would I come all the way out here from Boston?"

Josiah tried his best to make himself comfortable in the pew. His arm extended towards J.D., but didn't quite touch his shoulder as it rested on the back of the pew. "What was it about Chris and the others that you admired so much, you left your home to try and find them?"

"Why do you have to keep asking questions!" J.D. was really starting to get annoyed.

"Because only you know the answers," replied Josiah patiently.

J.D. snorted. He should have known better than to hope to get a straight answer out of Josiah. "I admired them. They were my heroes. I wanted to be like them. I wanted to be like Chris." J.D. paused and thought of the tortured man lying in the Nathan's clinic. Tears started to form in his eyes again. "I wanted to be like what I *thought* Chris was like."

"But there must have been men in Boston who could have been your heroes," persisted Josiah.

"Maybe." Again J.D. wiped his eyes. "But they weren't as exciting as the stories I read about the west. Besides men in Boston. . . ." Suddenly J.D. stood up. "I don't want to talk about this anymore."

Josiah gently blocked J.D.'s path with his long arms. "Men in Boston what, J.D.?" 

J.D. sat back down again but didn't say anything.

"Men in Boston what?" Josiah repeated .

"They leave! Okay! Is that what you wanted to hear!" J.D. screamed at the top of his lungs. "They leave their families, they leave their wives alone to raise the kids! They just leave and they don't come back!" J.D. started sobbing again, so he buried his head in his arms.

"That's what your father did to you and your mama, isn't it?" J.D. nodded, but never raised his head. Josiah continued. "That's really why you came west. You wanted a father, someone who would teach you things, teach you to be a man. You read about men like Chris and Bat and the others and you wanted find one of them and make him your father because you read that they were righteous men, honest men who would stand up against evil and never turn their backs on their families."

J.D. nodded his head again, his sobbing getting quieter. "Chris would never do that." J.D. raised his head and looked directly at Josiah. "He was gone the night Sarah and Adam died, but he was coming back. He did everything he could to get back to his family, but he just didn't get there soon enough. He would never abandon them."

"No, he wouldn't," agreed Josiah. "And that's why Chris's shooting hurts more than Vin's, or mine or anyone else's. You've taken Chris into your heart, J.D. Whether that was your intention when you came out west or not. Buck and the rest of us are your friends and we all care about you very much. But Chris is your hero, as every father should be to his son."

J.D. swallowed and took a few deep breaths. "You won't tell anyone about this, will you?"

"No, J.D. It'll be up to you to tell Chris how you feel." J.D.'s eyes widened at the thought of telling Chris how he felt, but Josiah gently clapped J.D. on the back as he stood. "Why don't I take you home?"

J.D. yawned. It had been a very long, very emotional day for him and his whole body felt drained. "Thanks, Josiah." JD grasped Josiah's extended arm. "Maybe I should come here more often. Ya know I went to church with my mama, but I usually fell asleep during the sermon. Now. . .I don't know. This just feels right."

"Anytime, J.D., the Lord's house is open anytime."

*********************************

Although Buck had told Nathan that he was going to the saloon, he changed his mind halfway across the street, and he went to the jail instead. Ezra had the watch tonight. Actually Ezra had been on watch at the jail for the past three nights. Ezra had started to grouse about the "appalling" situation, but when he realized the alternative was to help nurse Chris back to health, he chose to remain in the jail. He had been strangely quiet ever since, only asking about Chris's condition when one of the other men brought the prisoners their meals. 

Buck opened the door to the jail. Of the twenty-five original rustlers, only seven remained. The place stunk of food and sweat. Ezra sat in his chair behind the sheriff's desk, shuffling a deck of cards. 

"Ezra." Buck nodded towards the gambler.

"Mr. Wilmington," Ezra nodded back. "We received a communication from Judge Travis. He has expedited his travel arrangements, and we can anticipate his arrival tomorrow afternoon."

"Good," responded Buck, "Hopefully the Judge won't need Chris to testify.

"What, pray tell, is the condition of Mr. Larabee?" inquired Ezra.

"He's dead!" yelled one of the rustlers from the jail cell. " And you'll be buried right beside him once we bust outta here!" 

Like a shot, Buck crossed the sheriff's office to the jail cell where the scumbag stood. Without pausing Buck reached through the steel bars, grabbed the miscreant by the collar, and slammed his face into the cell's door.

"Ahhhhhhhh! You just broke my nose! You're fuckin' crazy! Lemme alone!" the injured rustler screamed.

"Mister, one more word out of you and I'll break every bone in your body. . .slowly." Buck whispered menacingly. The rustler saw the fury in Buck's eyes and did his best to keep from whimpering over his broken nose. Buck waited a minute and then released the rustler who staggered through the crowded cell to sit by the far wall. Buck glared at the rest of the rustlers, but except for a few mutterings, they kept their peace. Buck walked back to Ezra and pulled up another chair so he could sit on the other side of the sheriff's desk.

"It ain't good," said Buck quietly as if the altercation with the rustler never happened. "His temperature's gone way up and we have him buried in ice. Nathan's plumb worn out on ideas." 

"Is Mr. Larabee still mistaking Mr. Tanner for his son?" Ezra leaned in closer to Buck keeping his voice quiet, so that the rustlers couldn't overhear. Buck looked into Ezra's eyes, and for some reason he got the distinct impression that there was more to Ezra's question than just curiosity.

"Yeah. Every time Chris wakes up and Vin's not there, he starts yellin' for Adam." 

Ezra shook his head in confusion. "I don't understand how a man who lost a seven year-old child could mistake a thirty year old man for his son."

Buck didn't respond. Instead he pushed back his chair and stood up. "I'm going to the saloon. I'll send you over some dinner. Do you need anything else?" 

Ezra could see by the way Buck avoided his eyes that he had hit a nerve. "No, but if you could ascertain as to whether or not Mr. Jackson desires to practice his craft this evening, please convey a message that one of these hoodlums needs to have his nose repaired."

"He'll have to wait until morning. Nathan just went to sleep and I'm ain't in a rush to wake him up." Buck nodded and walked out.

******************************

See part 1 for disclaimer

Part 4

*The next morning*

Vin woke up to find the sun streaming through the sickroom window. He had spent the entire night sleeping with his head resting on the edge of the sickbed with his hand clutching Chris's arm. Now he was stiff and his back throbbed where he had been shot three weeks earlier. He sat up and tried to stretch. It was in mid-stretch that he noticed that Chris's eyes were open and he was staring at Vin.

"Mornin', cowboy," greeted Chris quietly.

Vin closed his eyes. If Chris was back to normal, then the fever must have broken. 

"Mornin', yourself." Vin muttered as he opened his eyes and began to check Chris for any signs of a fever. Instead of the heat that had been radiating off of Chris's body for the past four days, Vin felt nothing but cold, clammy skin as he touched Chris's forehead. 

"You keep touchin' me like that, people will talk." Chris's voice sounded hoarse.

"So let 'em talk." Vin snapped back. Buck had Chris covered in ice when Vin fell asleep last night, but the ice had melted, so Vin pulled a fresh blanket out from one of the dresser drawers and covered Chris with it. Vin was angry and he knew Chris could feel that anger. Problem was that Vin didn't particularly care at the moment. 

"What'd I miss?" Chris asked , trying to keep his voice neutral.

"Nothin'. Rustlers are locked up and the judge is on his way. He should be here this afternoon." Vin still wouldn't look in Chris's eyes as he started to untuck the wet sheets from around Chris. He would need Nathan's help lifting Chris so the sheets could be pulled away and replaced with fresh ones. Hell, they would probably have to replace the entire mattress.

Chris nodded at what Vin had told him. "I want you on the roof of the livery when the trial starts. That second gang might show up and try to spring their friends."

"I ain't gonna be here. Soon as the judge arrives, I'm quittin' and headin' for Tuscosa." Vin, who still hadn't looked directly at Chris, turned his back on Chris entirely and opened the window to let in some fresh air.

"Why, Vin?" Chris sounded truly surprised. Except for that one time with Charlotte, Vin had never run out on him. "Can't it wait a few days? I'll be back on my feet then. I'll go with you, like I promised."

Vin whirled around so he could finally look at Chris directly. "No! You ain't comin' with me! I don't want you followin' me. I don't want you near me! You got that, Larabee!" All the anger he had been biting back for the past few days rushed to the foreground.

Just then Nathan walked in from the room next door. "Vin, what are you yellin' at . . .hey Chris, good to see you awake." Nathan crossed the room and sat down by the bed. Chris glanced from Nathan to Vin and back again. Vin stalked over the dresser, grabbed his hat and made his way to the door.

"You can take care of him now, Nathan. I'm outta here." As he opened the door to leave, Buck walked in. Vin brushed past Buck like he wasn't even there.

"What the hell is his problem?" Buck questioned Nathan.

Weakly Chris answered. "He's leaving for Tuscosa."

Buck looked at Chris, surprised that he was coherent. "Chris. . ."

"Go after him Buck. Please, you have to stop him. Please. . ." Chris closed his eyes and fell back asleep.

********************************

Buck stormed into the livery and spotted Vin saddling up his black. Before Vin could even turn around to see who entered the livery, Buck grabbed him and threw him up against the nearest wall. Buck's face was contorted with rage and barely an inch from Vin's as he growled, "Now you listen to me, Tanner. You are *not* leaving for Tuscosa. You are staying right here and you are gonna help me get Chris back on his feet. And so help me if you try to leave again, I'll put a bullet in you myself."

Vin tried to squirm his way loose, but Buck only picked him up off the ground so Vin's feet dangled below him. Unfortunately for Buck, this released some of the pressure off Vin's forearms and allowed Vin to let his hunting blade slide down his arm sleeve and into his hand. Buck quickly found himself with a knife to his throat.

"Put me down, you son-of-a-bitch, or I'll bleed you out right here." Slowly Buck let Vin slide back down the wall. Vin kept his knife to Buck's throat as he slowly circled around Buck until he had Buck up against the wall. "Now, I'm goin' to ride out of here and you're goin' to forget I ever existed. Understand?"

Buck didn't back down. "What about Chris? You're just goin' to leave him up there in Nathan's clinic? He'd do anything for you, Vin. He'd die for you."

"No, he wouldn't!" yelled Vin, his knife hand starting to tremble slightly. "He'd die for Adam, for his son, not for Vin Tanner! Well, I am *not* Adam and I won't play any more of Chris's sick little games. If he wants a son so badly, he'll have to find someone with a lot less pride than me. I'm a Tanner and I *ain't* goin' to forget that!" 

"For God's sake, Vin, the man took a bullet in the gut! He's lost a lot of blood. He's just confused."

"He ain't confused. You saw the look in his eye when he asked you to take care of me. He was dead serious. He really thinks I'm Adam and I *ain't* playin' that game." 

Ignoring the knife still at his throat, Buck shoved Vin away from him. "All right, *Tanner*. Have it your way. But don't you ever show your face in this town again because I'll personally take you apart." Vin backed off and lowered the knife. He hadn't expected Buck to give up so quickly. He nodded his understanding to Buck and started to walk away.

"Oh, hell, this one's for Chris!" Buck reached out to Vin's shoulder, whirled him around, and smashed him in the jaw with one meaty fist. Vin slammed back into the wall again, but even before he could completely recover, he let out with a war whoop and charged directly at Buck. Buck may have been larger than Vin, but Vin was faster and more agile. He slipped below Buck's defensive posture and landed two powerful punches to his gut. Then he whipped behind Buck and jammed his booted foot into the back of Buck's right leg, forcing the bigger man to his knees. Buck grimaced but worked past the pain to reach over his shoulder and grab Vin's arm. Bringing the arm over his shoulder, Buck grabbed Vin's collar and flipped him head over heals landing Vin on his back. Vin twisted himself out of Buck's grasp and stood up. Buck quickly followed and saw that Vin had his knife out again in his right hand. Taking advantage of his longer reach, Buck grabbed Vin's right wrist and twisted it until Vin was forced to drop the knife. Vin came in quickly and jabbed Buck in the jaw twice with his left fist, but Buck would not untwist Vin's right arm. Desperately Vin kicked out connecting with Buck's stomach again, but before Buck let go, he shoved Vin backwards. 

As Vin tumbled to the ground, his head connected with a support beam. He still hadn't regained all of his stamina after getting shot and between the recent firefight and taking care of Chris, Vin could feel himself running out of steam. Lightheaded and dizzy, Vin tried to reestablish his bearings in the livery, but he was a hairbreadth too slow, giving Buck the opportunity to lift him up and punch him again. Vin landed at Buck's feet with a thud and immediately tried to roll out of the way in case Buck had any ideas about kicking him. Rolling across the ground, Vin's dizziness increased and he rolled right into the forelegs of his black, which stood half out of its stall. The black immediately reared up and Vin knew if he didn't roll back in the other direction, the black's hooves would come crashing down on his head. But Vin couldn't move; all of his energy had gone into that roll and he had nothing left with which to fight. As the black's hooves lowered to the ground, Vin squeezed his eyes shut. At the last possible second he felt something grab him by the collar and yank him out from under the black just as the hooves crashed to the floor.

Vin instinctively curled up into a ball. He couldn't defend himself anymore and he didn't doubt for a second that Buck still had the energy to pummel him into his grave. Bile rose in the back of his throat, burning him up from the inside. He tried to swallow it back, but in his tightly curled position he couldn't do that, so tried to spit it out. Bile and blood dribbled out of his mouth as he tried to catch his breath. He saw a colored bandanna fall across his face and felt someone gently wipe away the bile and blood from his mouth and chin. He realized that only Buck could've yanked him out from under his black and that Buck had in fact stopped beating him. Vin tried to turn his head to find Buck, but another wave of dizziness passed over him.

"Rest easy, Vin." Vin felt a hand rubbing his back as he continued to struggle for air. Slowly Vin's breathing evened out and his dizziness passed. Vin tried again to turn his head and this time he succeeded in finding Buck sitting behind him still rubbing his back. They locked eyes for a moment and Vin could see that the rage in Buck had died out. Buck stopped rubbing Vin's back so Vin could slowly try to sit. He managed get himself upright, but pain shot though his back and down his right arm, so he found himself leaning with his back against Buck's shoulder. 

Neither man said anything for a long time. Vin finally broke the silence.

"He's got no right placin' that kind of burden on me. I've got a father out there somewhere. He may not have wanted me, or maybe he just didn't think I was good enough to be his son, but I still carry his name. When my mama died she said, 'Boy, you're a Tanner. Don't you ever forget that.' She wouldn't have said that if my father wasn't someone special. I ain't Adam and I can't live up to what Chris wants in a son." 

Buck didn't know how to respond to that, so instead he whispered, "There are men out there, Vin, who won't even look at their kids until they're old enough to earn their keep. There are other men who don't even think twice about takin' a belt to their kids every night whether they'd done somethin' wrong or not. Other men use their kids to live out their lives the way they themselves never could have. 

"But not Chris. If there was ever a man who truly enjoyed bein' a father it was him. He loved that little boy of his with all the love a parent has to give and maybe more. Adam grew up as a free spirit. There was no school in the territory at the time, so Sarah took it upon herself to teach him to read and write. Chris - he taught Adam how to fish, and hunt, and ride, and do all the other things that little boys love to do. But he also taught him to stand up for himself, to do what's right, and to fight for what he believes in. 

"When I first went to visit the Larabees, I didn't know what to expect. Chris and Sarah were so happy just to be together, I almost felt like I was intrudin' on their happiness. But they did more than just invite me into their home, they invited me into their family. I didn't plan on stayin' with them. I just wanted a good meal and some good conversation before headin' on my way. Seeing them together. . .I can't explain it, Vin, but it really made me feel good inside seein' them so happy. When they extended that happiness to me, I grabbed onto it and didn't let go. 

"I was there when a storm blew the roof off their house, I was there when a fire broke out in the stable, and I was there the night that little Adam was born. I tried to ride out and find the midwife, but she was deliverin' another baby on the other side of the river, so it was only the three of us for the whole delivery. I'll never forget the look on Chris's face when he held his son for the first time. Everyone was cryin' with joy except for Adam. All that little boy did was yawn and squirm a little. He had the biggest, bluest eyes you have ever seen on a baby and long brown hair. . ."

Buck could feel Vin stiffen up beside him. "I'm sorry, Vin. I'm sorry for everythin'. I just want you to understand what that man means to me. I lost my ma when I was seventeen. My pa was one of her customers, but she never told me who. I didn't want to know. I joined the army to earn a livin', but afterwards I had no one to go home to. I fell into and out of more jobs and relationships than I care to count. Then Chris and Sarah and Adam became my family and I loved them more than life itself. 

"So maybe I'm selfish. I want you to stay here and give Chris whatever it is he needs to get back on his feet because you're the only one who can. Lord knows I tried. For three years after Sarah and Adam died, I tried. I tried to stay by that man's side, I tried givin' him his space, I tried to keep the bad elements out of his path, but nothin' helped. Everythin' I tried for three years to do, you accomplished in an instant. A look and a nod, the townspeople here say is all that passed between the two of you before you hightailed it out to the gravesite to rescue Nathan.

"Now, I ain't gonna pretend like I know why your so upset because Chris thinks you're Adam. All I'm askin' is that you stick it out until Chris is on his feet again. He needs you, Vin. You can give him somethin' the rest of us can't." Buck could still feel the resoluteness in Vin posture. He remained unmoved. "Vin you put your life on the line for complete strangers. All I'm askin' is that you give Chris some compassion. Please, Vin, I'm beggin' you, please stay and help my friend."

Vin sighed and rubbed his injured arm. "All right. I'll stay one more night. But I ain't pretendin' to be Adam. He's got to know that. If he can't accept me as Vin Tanner, then I'll leave and that'll be the end of it."

Buck let out a breath of relief. "Thanks, pard." He shifted his weight backwards so that he could stand up. Vin hissed sharply at the sudden loss of support. Quickly Buck slipped his hands under Vin's arms and gently helped him to stand.

Vin looked at Buck with some fear in his eyes. "I suppose this means we have to go back to the clinic?"

Buck grinned. "Don't worry. I'll think of something to tell Nathan that'll explain the bruises. But maybe we can stop off at the bathhouse first and wash up a bit."

********************************

See part 1 for disclaimer

Part 5

*Later that afternoon*

Buck and Vin cleaned themselves up, changed their clothes, and returned to the clinic. They had seen Nathan leave a few minutes before and head over to the jail. Buck walked with a slight limp and Vin couldn't raise his right arm high enough to even reach for the doorknob. They couldn't hide their bruises forever, but hopefully they could hold off running into Nathan until later that evening. 

Mary walked out of the sickroom just as Vin and Buck were about to enter. 

"Vin! You're still here. Chris told me you were leaving for Tuscosa. I'm so glad you decided to stay." Impulsively Mary reached out to touch Vin's shoulder. He winced slightly. "What's wrong?"

Vin glanced at Buck. "Buck talked me out of leavin' for the moment. How's Chris?"

Mary glanced back at the closed door. "I really don't know. The fever is gone, but he's so. . .listless. If Ezra hadn't made him feel guilty about how long it took me to cook his dinner, I don't think he would have eaten a bite. "

"Did you say 'Ezra'?" Buck's eyebrows practically hit the ceiling.

"Yes, I did." Mary let out a little laugh. "When he came in here he said, 'Ah've grown weary of our guests' perpetual displays of common borishness. Some time carin' for those afflicted would be an acceptable change of scenery.'"

Buck and Vin both burst out laughing at Mary's perfect impersonation of Ezra's southern drawl. 

"So do you two want to explain those bruises or do I have to get Ezra out here to threaten the two of you also?" 

Vin glanced at Buck. "Let's just say Buck can be very persuasive when he wants somethin'."

Mary sighed. "It looks like you did your share of 'persuading', Vin. All right, then, you boys can have your little secret for now. But the reporter in me is going to continue this investigation after I make Billy his dinner and get him to bed."

"Yes, ma'am." Both Buck and Vin tipped their hats as Mary walked past them and down the stairs. Buck opened the door to Nathan's sickroom and motioned Vin inside. 

Chris seemed to be sleeping restlessly while Ezra watched over him, still shuffling the same deck of cards. 

"Hey Ezra, never thought I'd see you carin' for the 'afflicted'." Buck laughed quietly at Ezra look of distaste. 

"Nathan kindly offered to switch locations while he took care of the various ailments our incarcerated guests have been complainin' of late."

From the bed, Chris started thrashing slightly as he moaned in pain. "Adam. . .Adam, where are you?" Vin closed his eyes as if he suffered another one of Buck's punches. This was like a neverending nightmare. Slowly Vin crossed the room to the sickbed.

"Chris." No response except some thrashing. "Chris, wake up!" Chris's eyes snapped open. 

"Vin?" Chris lifted his head and noticed the low light streaming in from the window. "What're you still . . .doin' here? I thought you'd be. . .halfway to Tus. . .Tuscosa by now." Chris laid his head back tiredly.

"Changed my mind." Vin shrugged.

Chris's eyes focused on Vin's split lip. "Really? Looks like you had some persuadin'." Chris turned his head and glared at Buck. 

"Don't you dare look at Buck like that! If it weren't for him, I would be halfway to Tuscosa by now." Vin forced Chris to look at him. "Yeah, that's right, Larabee. I'm still mad at you, but we're goin' to settle this thing tonight. Because if we can't, I *will* be ridin' out to Tuscosa in the mornin' and Buck ain't gonna try and stop me."

"Gentleman, please forgive my interruption, but I believe that this discussion should take place in private." Ezra quickly donned his hat and left the sickroom. Buck made a motion to follow Ezra, but Vin stopped him.

"You stay put, Bucklin." Vin ordered. "You forced me here, so you're gonna have to live with the consequences." Buck closed the door and sat down opposite Vin on the other side of Chris's bed.

"Okay. . .I'll bite. Why you suddenly got a bug up your ass?" Chris's eyes seemed to glow brighter and more color came to his skin.

"Reckon you already guessed some of it." Vin paused and looked at Buck, who just encouraged him with a nod. "When you went down, you called me Adam. You told Buck to take care of your son, except you were talkin' about me. I'm not a child, Chris that needs carin' for and I'm not *your* child. I won't pretend to be. What I need is a friend, someone I can rely on and someone I can talk to.

"When I first came to Four Corners, I had been on the run for seven months. No friends, no one I could rely on for help. Hell, I'd never had many friends anyway, not even when I was a child. Suddenly, there you were, standin' there starin' at me like you could look into my soul. I thought you understood me. I thought you were my friend. But then I found out it was a lie. You didn't want me as your friend, you wanted me as a. . .a remembrance. Like a doll a child keeps close for security. I reminded you of your dead son and that was all you cared about. It hurts Chris, it hurts a lot that you would use me like that." 

Vin stopped talking and looked into Chris's green eyes, daring him to deny it.

Chris didn't. He took a deep breath instead and broke eye contact with Vin, staring instead at the ceiling above. In a low, hoarse voice, Chris tried to explain what he felt. "The night of the firefight, I had a dream about Adam. It's been happenin' less and less lately. . .but it still happens. Right after he died, I would have nightmares about him and Sarah trapped in the fire - the smoke, the fear, the pain. I would wake up screamin' because I could feel it all, as if I were there with them." Chris paused to take another deep breath. 

"Then the dreams started to change. I would see Adam, not as the little boy I knew, but as the man I knew he would have become had he lived. He would've been tall and strong, his hair long and his eyes bright." Chris turned his head so he could look directly into Vin's blue eyes. "Then I saw you standing there, across the street, ready to put your life on the line for a man you didn't even know. It was like my dream come true. 

"I want you to understand something, Vin. Sarah and Adam don't appear to me anymore, not while I'm awake. The night before the firefight was the first time I had dreamed about Adam in a couple of months. I *know* you're not Adam. I know who you are, Vin Tanner. You're a man of strength and courage and pride. You're everything a man could want in a son."

Chris paused again because he was losing strength quickly. Taking a last deep breath he tried to put into as few words as possible everything that he had to say. "I admit Adam was on my mind during the fight and I admit that the first time I saw you, I thought about was how much you resembled the Adam I once dreamed of. But I know I overstepped the boundaries of leadership by asking Buck to take care of you and I know that mistake was compounded when I accidentally called you Adam, called you my son. 

"It's so hard watching the six of you always putting yourselves in danger and I get tired of seein' the people I'm suppose to take care of get hurt because of the decisions I make. So tired. . ." Chris's eyes started to flutter shut, but with a last bit of strength he opened them once again. "Please forgive me, Vin. Forgive me and stay here. I promise to try harder to be a better friend. . .try harder to take care of you. . ." Chris's head fell to the side as he fell back into a restless asleep. 

Vin pushed away from the bed and stood next to the window. He felt Buck coming up from behind him.

"What do you say, pard? Will you stay?" Buck looked over Vin's shoulder to the street below waiting for Vin's reaction.

"That wasn't the answer I was lookin' for, Buck." 

"He means well, Vin, he really does. I think he just needs to protect people. That's what good fathers do, and I think that in a way Chris sees all of us as his children and more than anythin' he wants to keep us safe. He enjoys that, Vin, he just can't say it. " Vin didn't say anything. "Vin think about the change that's come over Chris this past year. Last year, it took a band of drunken Texas cowboys trying to lynch a black man just to get him out of the saloon. Since we've come together as a group, he's takin' responsibility not just for other people, but for himself. He doesn't drink himself into a stupor anymore, he's got a good relationship with the Travises, the townsfolk respect his authority. . ."

"And he looks out for his own." Vin interrupted quietly.

Buck nodded. "And he looks out for his own. Whatta ya say, Vin. Will you stay?"

Vin nodded. "I'll stay. Things won't be quite the same, but I'll stay."

************************

*Two days later*

Chris could feel a pounding in his temples. Not quite as bad as a hangover, but more like he had overslept on an empty stomach. Gingerly he turned his head to the side and opened his eyes. Things were blurry and clouded, but he could make out a dark haired man sitting next to the bed tossing cards onto the floor. Chris groaned slightly and closed his eyes, not sure if he could handle Ezra's four bit words with this headache. Never one to back down in the face of adversity, however, Chris reopened his eyes and blinked a few times. Surprisingly he saw that it wasn't Ezra sitting next to him, but J.D.

"J.D.?" Chris saw the look of extreme joy race across the young man's face before he thought to bury it under a mask of a more 'manly' expression of relief that Chris had finally awoken.

"Chris, it's about time. We've been real worried. Nathan said that if you didn't wake up soon and start drinkin' water, you could die of dehydration." J.D. turned to the night stand beside the bed and began to pour a glass of water. "Now drink some of this." Chris tried to drink some water from the glass J.D. held while only rising up on his elbows, but he only wound up spilling the water down the front of the nightshirt he wore. "Aw, man, Chris. I'm sorry, I wasn't thinkin'. Hold on a minute while I get something to clean that up." J.D. shot out of the room like a frightened bunny instead of a fierce gunfighter. Chris lay his head back and closed his eyes again as he thought about what transpired the last time he woke. He had lost one of his best friends because he had dared treat him like a son, and right here was a boy who was just begging to have a father to look up to. Chris sighed. He didn't want another son, he wanted Adam. . .didn't he?

J.D. nearly tripped over himself as he ran back into the room with an armful of towels. "Okay, Chris, you just relax and I'll take care of everything. I'll even change the nightshirt. I've had a lot of practice helping my mom change her nightgowns when she got too sick to do it herself, so this should be no trouble at all. . . ."

"Relax, J.D. I'm not changin' my nightshirt. It'll dry on its own." Chris saw J.D.'s crestfallen expression before the kid could hide it. Realizing his mistake, Chris tried to make up for it. "But you could help me sit up a little higher so I can some of that water into my mouth next time." J.D. carefully piled up some extra pillows behind Chris so he was sitting more upright.

"Better?" J.D asked.

"Better," Chris replied. J.D handed Chris the glass of water again which Chris drank straight down. "Tell me what I've missed."

"Well," J.D. paused so he could sit back down in his chair. "Judge Travis finally arrived and he got a jury together for a trial. Vin's got Josiah, Ezra, Nathan, and Buck out on patrol."

"Vin's still here?" Chris almost dropped the empty glass at hearing that Vin decided to stay in Four Corners.

"Yeah, he's up on the roof of the livery, keepin' lookout in case of trouble." 

Chris thought about this. If Vin was still here, then he must have forgiven Chris for his mistake. Chris turned his head away from J.D. afraid that his eyes might actually tear a little bit. He quickly got himself under control and turned back to J.D.

"What about you? What'd you do to piss off Nathan and get stuck watchin' over me?"

"Aw, Chris, I didn't do nothin' to Nathan. It's just that everyone seemed to have taken a turn in here and I thought I should also take a turn." J.D. shrugged, pretending like it was nothing.

Chris nodded. He never really had a lot to say to J.D. Buck had done a fine job teachin' the kid the ropes, but it was still obvious that one word from Chris carried more meaning to J.D. than a thousand words from Buck. To break the growing silence between himself and J.D., Chris asked, "You still thinkin' about joinin' the Texas Rangers?"

J.D. looked surprised. "Well, yeah, sort of, I guess."

"You guess?" asked Chris, giving J.D. a hard look.

"Well, I got a lot of things to consider. I only tried to go to Texas that once because we had all been fired and you all went in different directions. Now we're all back together as a team, right?"

Chris nodded again. J.D. continued. "And then there's Casey to consider. I mean I can't take her to Texas unless I married her. And even if I did, I don't know if she even wants to live in Texas. Oh, hell, I don't even know if I want to marry her. She's really great, but sometimes I just want to. . . to. . ."

"To what?" prompted Chris.

J.D. jumped out of his chair in frustration and started to pace. "She really gets on my nerves sometimes. I don't know if I want to spend the rest of my life with someone who likes to fight."

"Do you enjoy makin' up with her afterwards?" Chris almost laughed as he watched J.D. blush all the way to the roots of his dark hair.

"That's not the point," squeaked J.D. "I just don't know if I really love her or if I just like. . .like. . .aw Chris, you know what I mean."

"Yeah, J.D., I know what you mean."

"So, what do I do, Chris? How do I know if I really love Casey or not? How do I know if this is real?" J.D. looked a Chris with a mixture of fear and anticipation.

Chris on the other hand rubbed his eyes. He felt as if Vin had asked him this same question only yesterday instead of a month ago when Vin had occupied this same bed recovering from a gunshot wound to the back.

"Sit down, kid. I have story to tell you."

The End.


End file.
